November 19th, 2015 

“I’m not going to lie about this: Yes, I still miss you. Yes, I still sometimes cry myself to sleep because of you. Yes, I still see your face in a crowded room. Yes, I still drink sometimes to forget your fucking green eyes and the way they used to look at me. But no, I don’t want you to come back. You ruined me.”
This makes me think of you. But you didn’t ruin me. You actually made me better. You made me strive to be a better person. For that I thank you. But I can’t lie to myself. I miss you and your love more than I thought I would. And every time I think about it I always think and dream of the day you’ll come back to me. But let’s face it… It isn’t going to happen. Ever. I’m still hopeful it will happen. But hope will only go so far when you know what you’re hoping for will never happen. I had you, lost you, had you again, then lost you again. It hurts but I think it’s time to let go of the rope that holds us together and that’s our friendship…

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