November 21, 2015

As the time gets closer and closer for him to come home for leave the more nervous I get. The military broke him and changed him and I’m scared of the person he’s become. He isn’t my best friend anymore and I knew it the day I saw him when he graduated boot camp. He isn’t the soft, sweet, kindhearted guy who had my heart in the palm of his hand. Now he’s just a cold and distant person. He’s but a memory to me. I think that’s what hurts the most. Knowing that the memories of him and the person he is now are totally different makes me feel like the memories were all just one big dream. A dream I do not want to wake up from. A dream I would be okay going into a coma for. I miss my best friend. He says he is there but to me he’s gone. The guy that I met, the guy I fell in love with… That guy is gone and I hate to say it but a part of me is gone with him. It’s sad really. I gave everything I had to him. My fragile heart was his to do with as he pleased and I was stupid enough to think he was going to guard it. I’m the only one that can do that. 

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