Sorry for being absent from here. Just had a lot to deal with a lot of things in my personal life but I’m back and raring to go.
Life has been pretty good to me what with my mental illnesses being in check and finding Freddy and leaving the past behind me. I’ve started going to school at nights now and it’s the best thing ever. I’ve made friends and I actually enjoy the classwork. I’m pushing to be a better version of myself and I’m proud of that. Life has been really good to me. God has shown me that his grace and mercy is never ending and I’m so glad I have him in my life.
The Lord works in mysterious and sometimes really great ways. He is in control of everything that happens in my life. I believe that everything that I’ve been through in my 22 years of life have all been guided by his hand. Like the song says, “Dios no me da cargas que no pueda llevar…” He doesn’t give me more than I can handle. He knows how much I can take and how strong I am. He is my strength when I’m weak and my smile when I’m sad. All those times where I felt like the world was ending were just moments where he wanted me to lean on him. I have to be honest with you all, I feel like the Lord just wants me to open up to him and believe that he is really in charge of my life and everything that happens but I don’t think I’m ready to take that step. I know about the Lord because I was born into the church and my parents are pastors and they’re always pushing the word and the Lord on me. But I saw that the approach that they were doing wasn’t really helping me in any way, shape, or form. So I told them to quit it. But in my heart I know that the Lord is there for me and he’s very much alive. He’s always looking out for me. When I used to get kicked out of my house for every little thing I would do because I was very reckless and impulsive, I was always on the streets at weird times of the night. Once at 3 in the morning I was walking around by myself. At the time, I was always feeling paranoid and I always thought someone was following me. I knew the Lord protected me from ever getting hurt or killed. I know it was him. I can feel it. He is just truly amazing. I never deserved his love but there he is always giving it.