You’re never going to grow up, you’re never going to be a man… Peter PanĀ 

I’ve been listening to Peter Pan by Kelsea Ballerini on repeat today. It makes me sad how naiive I truly am and how much I think I know about world when in reality I know nothing. I can relate to Peter Pan. Not wanting to grow up. Always living in Neverland. Living in a make believe place where everything is better than the true and harsh reality of life. I’m going to put it simply. I hate my life. I hate having to bounce around from place to place not knowing if I’ll ever have a safe place to call home. I hate my parents. I hate being stuck. I hate feeling like a failure. I hate hurting. All of the trials and problems of real life have no place in my “Neverland” so to speak. In my Neverland, everything is better. I’m at peace with my demons. I don’t fight them every minute of every hour of everyday. I have love and happiness and I’m not alone. All my fears disappear. This is why I live in my make believe world. I can’t handle the stresses of everyday life. I would much rather live in a place I’mhappy even if it isn’t real. Just like the song says “You’re always going to fly away, just because you know you can…” I fly away from reality when I’m in my Neverland. I can’t handle reality. I can’t handle living. I just can’t… 

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