You’re a Rainbow in the Dark

It’s funny how the one person who I’m supposed to be open with on a regular and about everything isn’t the person that I’m open with…

I mean I love him so much and I want to be open with him but how can I be open with him if I myself don’t know half the things that are happening in my mind? I can’t be open if i don’t know what to say…

I realized that I space out a lot more than I used to… and it scares me a little how lost in my own thoughts I can get…

I wish I had someone who truly understands me… who can get that my silence means something’s wrong and instead of bombarding me with questions asking me what’s wrong he’d let me be silent and wait for me to be ready to talk or let me be silent without an explanation… I mean my silence isn’t always a bad thing really… or maybe it is and I’m just not one for talking about my problems or situations…

I’m not sure if it’s that I’m scared of being judged even though he says he isn’t going to judge me at all or the fact that I’m so used to tackling the world on my own…

I just hope that he understands that when I’m quiet it doesn’t mean I don’t trust him, I just don’t really want to talk about it… Is that so wrong???






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