These zombies in the park, they’re looking for my heart…

I feel it… It’s actually happening again… It always happens… Maybe I really am to blame… Maybe I am a monster… I wish someone could explain to me why this always happens to me… Maybe in a past life I did something wrong and now I have to pay the consequences for my actions… I…

You’re a Rainbow in the Dark

It’s funny how the one person who I’m supposed to be open with on a regular and about everything isn’t the person that I’m open with… I mean I love him so much and I want to be open with him but how can I be open with him if I myself don’t know half…

It’s better off this way….

Bloody knife in my hand Cuts on my wrist Why oh why did it come to this? All alone  In my mind  No one to help me  No one so kind  I’m one cut away from ending it all Why am I the one who has fallen so hard?  No one save me  I don’t want…

I’m not the one who’s so far away…

The more that I think about it the more I realize you can’t trust anyone in the world. All they do is hurt you in the end. So why trust anyone? Nobody is worthy of you being vulnerable and fragile. They just fuck you over and fuck you up emotionally and mentally. I thought people…

I’m losing my mind, losing my mind, losing control…

Well, the one thing that I was afraid of happened. He really doesn’t love me anymore. He doesn’t even want to be my friend. That’s the biggest punch in the gut…No, it’s the biggest stab to the heart I have had to endure in a long long time. But I took it very calmly. Thank…

November 21, 2015

As the time gets closer and closer for him to come home for leave the more nervous I get. The military broke him and changed him and I’m scared of the person he’s become. He isn’t my best friend anymore and I knew it the day I saw him when he graduated boot camp. He…

November 20th, 2015

Well, his leave was approved. I was happy about that. Till now. Now it’s like the worst news ever. It’s like knowing it got approved and probably not being able to see him breaks me in ways that I never thought I could be hurt. It hurts so much and I just wish I could…